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One of the oldest internet rules concerns trolls, and not feeding them. And HuffPo is, one has to say, fairly consistently trollish in nature.

But this article making today’s rounds is rather annoying – and it concerns Star Wars, so I’ll run through this briefly, hitting the highlights, or lowlights, of their ’40 Unforgivable Plot Holes’ piece. There are spoilers, so the list is below the fold.

Here we go. Not doing them all, just the most annoying ones. My comments in red.

3. Kylo Ren, a powerful Force-user, fights a light saber duel with an ex-janitor who has never held a light saber. Being good at one thing does not make you good at other things – he could simply be a crap swordsman…and Finn is an ex-STORMTROOPER…as in the elite fighting force in the galaxy. So he was posted in waste management…STORMTROOPER. Even Navy SEALs get to take out the trash sometimes.

 

7. Rey, who has never left her home planet since she was a child, can speak Wookie. Nobody can speak Wookie — it’s a running joke in the Star Wars universe (Except Leia. And Lando. And Luke. And probably Obi-Wan). But Rey being able to speak Wookie surprises neither her, Han Solo, nor Chewbacca himself. (The Force, maybe? And who is to say that in her TOTALLY ABSENT BACKSTORY there isn’t a Wookie?)

10. For that matter, why is it made to seem like the entire Republic is centered in just one star system? I suspect that was Coruscant – the CAPTIAL. You know, the thing you usually want captured/destroyed? Also explains the fleet being there.

11. Kylo Ren is the head of the Knights of Ren, but there are no other Knights of Ren in the movie. Except in the flashback. You know, all backing him up? Also, it is 1 of 3…they will probably reappear.

13. Really? Was there no previous order Finn had ever refused to execute? First mission maybe? Seriously, this is not a hole. Also, battle against armed foes is different than killing a bunch of civilians.

14. Finn is an ex-janitor who goes AWOL from a Stormtrooper force numbering in the tens of thousands. Yet he is absolutely convinced, despite being someone of no importance whatsoever to the First Order, that he will be chased across the galaxy for having defected (Or, no one is allowed to leave, like they are EVIL or something). Apparently, there’s a premium on janitors in this quadrant of the Galaxy (Still a STORMTROOPER…did you skip that part of the movie?). Sure, Finn killed some people during his escape, but doesn’t the First Order emphasize with every tactical decision it makes that it considers its soldiers thoroughly expendable, and don’t they quite obviously have much bigger fish to fry during the events of The Force Awakens than to worry about Finn? Why wouldn’t this be obvious to him?

 

27. How did Kylo Ren manage to get Darth Vader’s mask into his little fetish den? (Went to Endor, picked it up?)This is only the most significant piece of memorabilia in the entire Galaxy (Except for Luke’s lightsaber. Vader’s lightsaber. The Falcon. R2D2). Not a plot hole per se, but still odd. And yet a similar question could be asked of Rey: how did she get that X-wing pilot helmet, and why doesn’t she sell it for food (because it matters to her as a momento, duh)? And why does Teedo (a fellow scavenger on Jakku) just give Rey BB-8 after capturing the droid, given that as an experienced trader Teedo would already know that (as Rey quickly discovers) BB-8 is worth 100 times more than any random pile of junk either he or Rey could ever offer Plutt? Now that is a plot hole (finally found one!).

28. How does Finn find Rey’s settlement, given that the film makes clear that all Finn can see, after his Tie Fighter crashes, is endless dunes in every direction?(probably the Force – I suspect he is Force-sensitive, which is why he left the First Order)

29. Who trained Rey to fight with a staff as effectively as she does, given that (a) she is an orphan with no friends or family, and (b) she has never been in a battle, but is, rather, merely a scrap-metal scavenger? (and we know scavengers NEVER fight each other)

32. Kylo Ren takes his mask off pretty readily, and in pretty mixed company, for someone determined to wear super uncomfortable headgear perpetually. (it humanizes him, where Vader was inhuman, Ren is obviously human. And vulnerable, which makes his darkness more…real)

33. Why does Kylo Ren assign just a single Stormtrooper to guard Rey? (strapped to the interrogation chair, with no force training…seems a safe bet to me)

34. How do the Rathtars on Han’s freighter get loose? Really? You SEE that one – Rey hits the wrong switches. Reaching much?

36. Why are all Stormtroopers human (or humanoid)? Because, like the Empire before it, the First Order is human-only, and considers non-humans to be scum and inferior. This is pretty solid SW canon here.

38. Is Supreme Leader Snoke actually a giant? Because if not, wouldn’t him using holographic technology to make himself appear huge be a pathetic affection signaling deep-seeded insecurities? (it’s called intimidation) Even the Emperor never did that; he just appeared normal-sized or tiny (except for that first scene in ESB, where his head is taller than Vader). And if Snoke is a giant, how come we’ve never seen a humanoid that size in Star Wars before?

 

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